I can’t sleep…

There’s a ton of shit that’s been clouding my mind lately and so I’m sitting awake thinking about how it all relates to me…cause lets be honest that’s what Insomnia is right? Anxiety created by the brain when your conscience is all fucked up? You ever met a nun who can’t sleep? Anyhow I’m uninsured and so I can’t go whine to my doctor that I have blood on my hands and could you please numb my brain so I guess I’ll just talk it out…

This has to be the period in time musically equivalent to the super produced teeny bopper bullshit the late fifties was churning out right? The time directly before the Beatles and Stones and Elvis flipped the world on its head?? I saw a commercial at the movies today…brilliant by the way…you’re literally FORCED to stare at the ad as you have no where else to look…for a BAND. REALLY?? It was for some 21 year old chick and her group of rocker dudes backing her…every single dude in pop rock looks exactly the same right now by the way….if you don’t know the look I’m talking about stop reading and turn on MTV then vomit and return to the computer…and so in the ad the little pup tells us about how she comes up with lyrics while “Tommy” her guitar player comes up with the structure and then “we all kinda put our own spin on it” and BOOM! They’re on MTV and top 40 radio!!! WOW! Tommy just sat down and whipped up a pop anthem that every brain dead idiot in the country is now chanting!? And it happens to have the exact song structure as every other tune on the radio? Same instrumentation? Tommy sure is young to be arranging stacked harmonies for keyboards and backing vocals!! Wait a minute…maybe…just MAYBE these bands that are destroying the musical fabric of the universe are being handed these songs EXACTLY like the groups that were assaulting our parents ears in the 50’s?? Could these tunes be coming from some 55 year old guy in Memphis and Nashville whose written a hundred previous pop tunes for country stars and corporate America?? The next time you’re in the car listening to the radio stop singing the awful canned lyrics and listen to the actual music. Country. Pop. Metal. Rock (gag). Every song could work on any album released today at Best Buy. Change the vocalist and instrumentation and Miley becomes Mudvayne and Taylor Swift becomes an Artic Monkey.

So send an email to someone at a record label and explain to them they have destroyed the very industry they’ve created. These labels were created by great visionary men who WORSHIPPED good live music and hit the streets like fresh hookers to find the next great band. I wonder what Ahmet Ertegun and Mo Ostin would say about all these bands right now? Now days a business model has been applied to the industry and suddenly rather than find someone doing something special the industry just spits out Avatars (killer flick) of previous success stories hoping for a percentage of the profits. I say fire one lawyer haggling over publishing percentages and pay three guys to hang out in clubs all over the country looking for killer live bands. Give them a little cheddar to set up a web of informants and have people in the clubs call them if they ever see a band’s LIVE SHOW that’s worth a damn. DO NOT hire the sound guys for intel by the way…I’m convinced too many years of attempting to mix awful live music has rotted their brains. They’re the most bitter people in the music business. Anyhow grassroots searching for bands is the only way to find the talent that’s going to carry the industry into the next phase. U2 and Bruce can’t tour forever and sooner or later people are gonna figure out that weird fucked up sound you hear on every pop, country, rock and hip hop vocal is an auto tuner digitally adjusting the pitch of the chump on the mic…and speaking of chumps on the mic did I mention you should tell em to GET THEIR ASSES TO THE DOUBLE DOOR Feb. 5th?? We plan on putting on a display that’ll turn a few heads…Somebody has to keep trying to turn shit around right?? Anyhow that’s where I’m seeing things in the music industry right now…and it’s freakin me out…

In other news we ran out of fucking gas on the interstate last weekend. Swear to god. Five guys DEAD SOBER rolling down the highway with a loaded trailer in 5 degree weather failed to take into account gas would become an issue. In addition, once Kong and E headed out into the cold in search of a gas station….E was the driver and Kong has the most power…we realized we couldn’t run the lights or heat for risk of killing the battery. So we got Semi’s FLYING by at 70 in the right lane as we’re sitting in a FREEZING cold van…frost on the INSIDE of the windows…as we shiver and cringe hoping the trucker coming over the ridge is guzzling five hour energy and not dozing at the wheel and doesn’t drift to his right four feet where our dark trailer sits loaded to the gills with our lives…

And then the cops show up.

“Hey Guys” he says as the three of us…all in the back rows shivering uncontrollably…look at him like deer in the headlights…

:”Hello.”

“What’s going on?”

“We ran out of gas.”

“Really? How? Didn’t you see the gauge?”

“Well uh…see…”

“Those two big guys walking down the highway a ways up with you?”

“Uh yeah…”

“Okay. I’ll go get em and drive em up to the exit to the gas station. You know the exit is only half a mile from here right?”

“Uh Yeah…”

“What are you guys pullin?”

“Musical equipment. We’re in a band see and we…”

“Yeah yeah…stay here…I’ll be back…”

“Uh okay…”

“You guys been drinkin?”

WELL WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK?? YOU THINK WE’RE GONNA SIT IN THE FREEZING COLD AND NOT DRINK!!??

“Uh no sir.”

“Any smoke?”

WELL WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK?? YOU THINK WE’RE GONNA SIT IN THE FREEZING COLD AND NOT SMOKE!!??

“Uh no sir.”

“Yeah yeah…alright stay here…”

So the cop picks the guys up and turns out to be pretty cool. Turns out he was in New Orleans the weekend before and got hammered on Hurricanes with a few of his buddies and ended up coming to in his room wearing nothing but his socks and gun….gotta love it. Anyhow he berates E on how stupid we are for NOT being drunk and running out of gas but eventually brings him back and with two baby gas cans and we manage to get enough in the tank to turn her over and get her to the station…of course without Kong as he chose to stay in the town and grind at McDonalds while we froze to death in peril on the highway….

Sooooooo…um….I love the smell of gasoline.

Not sure why. My earliest memories of gas stations revolved around jamming out in the back seat to “Electric Avenue” with my sister while my mom enjoyed a grit while pumping gas into the old Buick (hey it was the 80’s) but I guess once I figured out the wavy haze in the air outside was that sweet smell in my nostrils I was hooked. Every time I pump gas and I’m alone I get the pump all set up and once it kicks into gear I’ll look around and if no ones looking, or I’ve been BCDing…Buzzed City Driving…I get my nose down real close and take a giant rip off the tank like it’s a Georgia Pine. Is this huffing? Am I a Huffer? Do you capitalize Huffing?? Anyhow I say no. I only take one pull and it doesn’t really do anything…I don’t think…so I say it’s just a quirk. Like huffing a can of tennis balls the second you crack it open. God I love that….

Anyhow now we’re in the van on the way to the station and I’m in the third row of seats and so they hand me the gas tanks to hold til we get to the station and I say, “Yeah sure I’ll hold em…pass em back..no problem…” and about half way into this three minute trip to the station everyone comes to the conclusion that: A. We shouldn’t have the gas tanks inside the vehicle and B. I shouldn’t have my head entirely in the gas tank. Needless to say an argument ensues and upon reaching the station Pat climbs into the back and stands over me yelling into the side of the tank, “Hey Idiot!!” Get your head out of the tank and gimme those fuckin things!!”

“Huh!?”

“You’re an idiot.”

“Who me??”

“Oh hell. How the hell are you gonna remember the words to 30 songs all huffed out on gas?”

“They’re engrained into my soul. That’s how”

“Christ…you know what?? Take this 5 hour energy and pull your head out of your ass. We gotta start in an hour…”

OH GOD NO….

Anyhow…I think we’re gonna give all the money we make at the Double Door in Feb. to a charity that’ll get it someone who’ll send it to Haiti. Awfully sad what’s goin on down there. I haven’t discussed this with everyone in the band or on the bill yet but what are they gonna say…

“Hey man what are your thoughts on donating the proceeds from the show to Charity for the people of Haiti?”

“Fuck that man…how we gonna pay this bar bill??”

Uh…after writing that exchange out I fear this may be more difficult that I suspected…

Anyhow come out and hang and bring your friends and then get wasted because when you wake up in the morning hung over you can avoid the Insomnia bug by rationalizing to yourself you were participating in a humanitarian effort….that’s what I’m telling myself anyways…

I’ve made the same New Years resolution 4 years in a row now, and it’s never last more than three days. I’ve got to dumb it down. My New Years resolution this year is to get drunk on New Years Day…there’s no way I fuck that one up.

I’ve really cut back on beer lately…been drinking red wine instead. I figure I’m a bit of a romantic so it makes sense. Problem is I’m mixing it with Pepsi. Whatever.

We booked a show later this month at a Bowling Alley. High profile gig. Evidently the stage is set up along side the lanes so that the view from the stage will be nothing but streaking bowling balls and people dancing precariously along the foul line. I hope it doesn’t distract me and I can stay focused…at least until the rock n bowl laser light show kicks in…I should be fine once that gets goin…

I’m tired now. Who needs pills for sleep??

Disregard that last statement. I’ll take anything you’ve got.

Hope everybody’s holidays were cool, we just kinda laid low and geared up for the year of the Sugar…which in case you haven’t been reading…has already begun…

See you at the Double Door Feb. 5th 10pm!!! Get there early and catch the whole bill tho…it just HAPPENS to be a good one!!

I was serious earlier by the way…I know…know….good live music is amongst the last untarnished types of performance art left…so come out and dig on it…

Much Love-

GS-

PS: “I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day.”
Frank Sinatra-